triple

new

2005-05-15T23:53:00.000+08:00

i havent done this for long and i dunno why im doing this but i feel so ugh! and i have nowhere else to open up to. im dunno why it seems and feels like my family just doesnt understand me. when i wanna talk bout how upset im feeling my mom asks if i want some more tea. i mean! tea is less impt than my life! and my bro and father seem to be teaming up against me to lay extra pressure on me or sth. they give me unhappy looks when i get bad marks. as if that will make me feel any better when i already feel like shit. i mean, im feeling awful already, and friends and teachers give me pressure but arent they supposed to be the ones that support me and give me hope? why are they the worst players on the team?u think i wanted this? ahh. i mugged like mad yes i did indeed. maybe it wasnt enough, i acknowledge that fact. but i wish they would acknowledge the fact that i spent nights trying to figure out a theory or hours staring at a book trying to memorise its contents ah they just dont get it. and whats with all their wanting me to get to rj? i mean, i want my own life. i want to get there too, but with all their pressure its beginning to feel like it would be a huge shame for the family if i dun make it. GOD! whats wrong with nj or ac? and then my bro will say im saying all these cause i dun wanna work hard and i dun wanna face up to challenges. but how far can a person go? i mean, i really worked hard, and instead of encouraging me when the results arent as good, i get pushed harder adn scolded. ah lights out gtg.

2005-02-27T12:06:00.000+08:00

helloes!

hope my partner is feeling better now! (: don't worry too much k? as you said, he made up alr. anyway, there wasn't a sale!!!!!!!!!!! someone just shoot me. but it's ok lah i'm in no particular hurry to get the sling bag. anyway, the whole place was filled for style wedddings thing. wow. all the glam glam things and pretty models. too bad i didn't stay the whole thing ): oh wells, gtg now! it's been ages since i've blogged but i've been busy! haha. alright,tata (:

ah wong (:

?

2005-02-24T15:07:00.000+08:00

i just dun understand whats going on. one day its all lalala i love you you love me and the next its all u all are backstabbers. im not mad im confused. and somehow i know that all the comments were meant at me.its so obvious maybe not to everyone else but now u know why i get so decent grades for lit right?but the commetns are so indirect and weird im getting annoyed and confused. i mean,i rather pple scold me to my face tell me what im doing wrong. but at the same time i dunno how someone can know so much abt me jsut thru one camp and seeing me everyday. it just doesnt seem possible. for one i have never ever ever ever backstabbed a friend in my whole whole life. if i dun like somebody i will be nice to that person if shes nice to me but otherwise ill be sarcastic. take cher. i was really mean to her when i was pissed at her but now we re ok after camp. anyone.. if u remember me backstabbing do not fail to refresh my memory yea? and if i was wrong in anyway i think its jsut that i was irresponsible. i mean! i hate malay but cikgu is seriously on my tail now cause i did so badly. and ahh just feel so frustrated. but im not gonna be affected by these. cause if i am, im just going back to what i was, someone who cared so much abt what other ppl think of me. no. i didnt do anything wrong other than being irresponsible and i never ever backstabbed or used anyone so my conscience is clear. im gonna study properly and get my grades and not let these things affect me like they used to. thats what i learnt in camp. its so ironic! i just feel really passed out now and i cant ugh! nvm. i have to go for class now.

so long

2005-02-21T16:00:00.000+08:00

wow its been a while.. okok well self awareness camp is over and lets just say it wasnt as fantastic as i thought it would be but..i learnt sth new and i DID get sth out of it. i kinda know now im really lucky and have in fact no problems except my lousy grades which cant be helped much by anything but pure mugging. talked to my mom bout it,told her how i felt left out when she spent more time with my baby cousins. she explained things to me and told me how lucky i was which i realize too. i can buy almost anything i want, my mom has never said no to me, i have a healthy body, stable living conditions, good school, good class, playing badminton for hostel(even tho cant play for school) and ive got plenty good friends partner angie penis changi airport twiggies nessa jessica. so i should be happy and i am now. u know from the moment they told me i was imagining it i thought abt it and suddenly it was like a flash before my eyes- like hey huayshan! stupid! like suddenly i felt free. i know it sounds weird but i mean it.im so so sensitive gah, but i feel so much better now.

im stressed for work! so much! so many essays for malay! and my english compre sucks! and ahhhhhhh. dunno. my coming weeks are quite packed and fun. this fri, hostel outing,sat second time im playing badminton! oh ya i played ytd with other hostel ppl there were only like two girls. i partnered some cheena guy against two other guys and we beat them! ahha not like theyre fantastic or anything but i sure do miss playing. had a chat with one of the indo guys there and he's rather nice i thought he was some poser at first. i shall look forward to playing this fri and sunday again.

next fri, hostel gamesss!! at acsi and i hope i wont get thrashed too bad cause my partner is really lousy, but a nice guy la. then theres the meet the mp session soooooooo fun! and im planning the hostel birthday thingie with three other pple and we re going FOOD shopping!! so funnnn. ahhh.

owell lalalala. lifes alrighty.haha lets hope it lasts. tootles!

shanshan :)

a long long day!

2005-02-16T17:35:00.000+08:00

ahh feeling very very hot now. ok let me see.. valentines day was rather sucky, i had malay and two tests the next day, yesterday was my worst nightmare, and today and tmr will also be nightmares cause theres so! much work to do. and i feel really bad, i came to school today with the blackest face ever and began being so rude to everyone. now that i think of it, its rather funny cause ive been dying to do some of the things i did today but never dared to. but i was so! annoyed and sleep-deprived today i snapped. at adeline, cherlyn, my errr partner, kim, aileen, melia, gah. feel quite bad. nvm im sorry im sorry if anyone of u sees this.

I CANT WAIT FOR SELF AWARENESSSSS!! haha its gonna be great! i can tell! ah i cannnot waittttttttttt.

im hungry. yeah. i gtg now. well then. byebye

shan

school blues..

2005-02-11T16:48:00.000+08:00

okok its school blues once again !! haha i felt so slack in school today. first period was math and i got brain freeze when mr tan asked a question. nvm ill have to adjust soon cause DARNED chem test is coming up and i feel like faeces theres so much to study and i havent started. i feel like murdering myself over physics too cause the questions were from tys but as i said BRAIN FREEZE. esp when im panicked. damn! nvm. o you know what i found ironic. mr tan says medical students have no life. well that means my brother supposedly doesnt have a life. but he seems to have a way cooler life than me! his friends are so cool ! oman. im even more loserfied than i thought. haha.

i got nth else. just felt like typing. i like doing this. haha its kinda fun. ok

shan2

cny cny cny

2005-02-10T14:48:00.000+08:00

ok hi jessica i hope u see this :) thanks for ure message and thanks for the midnight call :p haha ill see you tommorow! leave a tag ok?

hi partner. okok ill shut up in school but let me umm pour out my woes here ok? hehehe.. thanks tho u very nice to me la u know *big cheesy huayshan smile.

i just finished my physics. TORTURE! i had to force myself to complete everything. but at least its over. i pray ill get decent marks. ahhhhhh. ok im feeling alrighty now cause its a hol! and im so unstressed. ahhhhhh. actually im feeling alright altogether la. hope it will last. boomboomboom. aiyah blah i got nth much to say. HI JESSICA! bye!!

2005-02-08T15:38:00.001+08:00

helloes!

huay shan, please stop thinking about it kae. if not, old chang kee and i will come and strangle you. i said before and i will say it again that you can do it and i really do see you doing something for the class. for example, you took charge of organising the groups for self awareness camp and you did help clear up after steamboat. and i thought that you truly exemplified a good chairperson. you set an example by helping to clear up and clean the tables, thus others followed suit. i think that you're the best chairperson :) please believe in yourself and stop thinking about it. just enjoy the new year ok? i hope that you'll feel better after that. anyway, i'm really sorry i didn't sit with you today during steamboat but at least we sat quite close ya? i hope you ate a lot and enjoyed yourself. old chang kee kept stuffing me with food. hoho. i love her man. oh wells, enjoy your new year k? our drunken concert was really fun. oh man. i have sth to tell you on friday abt you know who. gosh! kinda inconvenient here so i'll tell you on friday k? have a happy new year :)

wong :)

postively down

2005-02-08T14:04:00.000+08:00

firstly hi marianne and ure also the greatest partner to ever have. u push me in my studies( when u do sth i also will do!) and u are there when i need u and over the year uve become more than just a partner! thanks.

waileng hellohellohello. im not going home did i tell you? my parents are coming down. anyway happy cny! thanks for the card and letters will come as soon as i can finish writing them ok thanks:) tell cherry hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeee!

arhhh plenty things happened. like marianne said, sentosa was a really good nice fun time and i thoroughly enjoyed myself. yeap ok i think im ready to just bleagh and spill everything out now ive been feeling like cow dung for quite long. aaaaaaaaaaahhh.

lets start with yesterday. fundrasising. iiiiii had a rather mind boggling experience- i dunno i just felt like i offended a few pple at least, thats what i think. i kinda shot off like a bullet talking non stop i was desperate to get anyone to buy the tickets. thank goodness some scholars came to the rescue and helped me out. anyway when i went back i was feeling exhausted not physically but mentally.

i saw it and it asked after me so nicely after that and saya berasa keliru. waileng i think u know what im talking abt. i wish i could know for sure apa yang dirasainya. i dunno why im writing abt this but i just feel like my feelings are coming out to fast to be written in my diary. it feels ever so much better letting it out here.
at night i went all the way to serene centre with chilli to get csi! ahh we watched 5 episodes in the room with some other scholars. ahh didnt studddddy!! @#!$$#

im reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally bothered by sth but i jus dun wanna say what it is. i wish i could be confident enough but i just dun know where to start. and the worst thing is i hate letting people down, especially people that i respect and admire. but sometimes i hate myself too for being so stiff and reluctant to just PUSH MY DOUBTS AWAY and just do my thing. the worst thing is that sometimes i feel like giving up gah! stupidstupid. i really hate sleeping at night cause i will lie awake for hours thinking abt it. im a lousylousy person omg! but i shall notnotnot not stop trying. im going slow but ill make it there. HAH.

parents are in spore. somehow im not looking forwad to celebrating cny. ild rather stay in with chilli. aint i weird. bah. ok i gtg toss my laundry and one dollar into the dryer. tootles

shanshan.

2005-02-06T15:07:00.000+08:00

helloes

sentosa was great yesterday! i had great fun! i hope that huay shan is feeling better now. after all, chinese new year is coming! we shall have a great time gorging on tuesday right? and we will not let anyone else eat our share. esp. charmaine tay. hoho. kiddding. anyway, i just wanna say that i really enjoyed myself eating carrot cake, nasi lemak, watermelon and banana with you huay shan! you are really my bestest partner :). i would die if i sat next to her i'm sure glad that i'm sitting next to you this year! i'll definately never forget you when i leave. i feel really honoured to become one of your bestest pals. :) thanks! yupp. alright. you stop thinking about all those depressing things and her alright? remember, i'm just an sms or a phonecall away if you need me! :) ciao!

wong :)

new day new mindset?

2005-02-03T15:04:00.000+08:00

another day and more blah-y i do feel yes. i m gonna get into big trouble with badminton tmr cause i skipped this crap thing im supposed to go for ugghh. blah. actually im kinda glad now that barely anyone reads this but marianne and waileng right? :) ive got a diary but im really lazy to write in it and sometimes my frustration sorts of comes out faster than i can write. i shall shut up and not tell anyone else abt this place.

i dunno why just dun feel good these days, its kinda an up and down thing. like sometimes im up and sometimes im down. and i feel so bland and dry? like im really disgusted by the way i live my life, no balancing at all! as in i dun have a healthy balance of fun and work. its kinda a horrible feeling, knowing im a big weak loser and i am not doing anything about it. eeek. and yeah. studies is surprsingly one of the better parts of my life now. almost everything else is flushed right down the toiletbowl.

i used to be reaaaally ego when i was in sec 2? thought i was some goddess or sth. haha no not till that extent but i always thought i had everything. and in primary school i remember before bathing i used to reflect on my life and think, oman everythings so darned perfect! great in studies great leadership posts great positon in school great friends. sometimes i think the reason why im feeling so down is cause i dun have one of these factors i used to have when i was oh so perfectly happy. and when i realise ive lost more than one of these factors, thats when im like blown away and declare temporary insanity. haha:) but sometimes pple in hostel come and share their probs with me and i feel so much better when i hear what they say cause i kinda realise that hey, this happens to everyone so i shouldn be such a moaner and complainer kinda thing. furthermore i dun think my probs are as serious as some other ppl. look on the bright side, im healthy, have some decent friends, can understand my work err enough and i have a nice nice brother.

why am i feeling like shit all the time? let me think. firstly i feel like a useless chairperson. other ppl who shall remain anonymous are doing all the work and i dun really want to cut in or theyll think im power crazy. anyway theyre doing a better job than i would ever do. im not jealous but i wish wish wish i could do sth to show that i do care for the class's wellbeing. i just dunno how to say it. and i have a feeling th class teacher also counts on them more than on me and its kinda ouchh. but at the same time, im not exactly fantastic in rah-rahing the class and stuff. i cant stay back too late or i wont have dinner and i cant bring all sorts of nice nice lights and stuff cause my room has nth of such. BLAH.

badminton. full stop. i feel like a sore loser cause.. actually i jus dun wanna talk bout it. seriously i can feel my heart aching whenever i see a racket see a badminton player see a badminton tshirt see the lousylousylousylousylousylousyteacher see the sports hall hear anything abt it hear the stupid announcement abt the wins it breaks my heart to even raise my hands and clap im such a sore loser with no team spirit.

physics= ha??

it isnt talking to me as much before. even when i see it it doesnt talk its pissing me off. i feel cheated but it wont give me any signs. just when im abt to give up it suddenly gives a tiny signal. and the whole cycle begins again. i know im not supposed to do anything cause its olevel year but im just so deprived from stuff that this bothers me alot. is it that its the head prefect and it feels it wouldnt be right? omannn. i wish i could flush it down the toilet bowl!

cherlyn ho. ouch.

ok thats enough complaining from me, i need to doze off before doing my hw. ahhh.

nerdy shan

teachers: )

2005-02-02T19:00:00.000+08:00

well today was kinda a downer again but haha some pple came to my rescue. well during my trip to higher malay i was kinda feeling like shit i dunno why i felt like i was some useless bum. cause my ccas down the drain, and i feel so boring! like ive turned into some boring girl who does nth but work. like ive got no entertainment kinda thing? but seriously someone up there likes me. haha well

firstly ms yip saw me outside the staffroom and she asked me why i wasnt paying attn once, well around 2 weeks ago she scolded me for not doing my work. and i was like sorry i was jsut being complacent and arrogant. basicaly long long talk and in the end she pat me and gave me a box of chocs she bought from the arc gals. its really tasty btw, i was eating them during my malay test never eat lunch! ms yip seemed to really care bout me and tho she may not know it she kinda made my day.

jessica passed me a letter all of a sudden after recess asking whether i was ok and i was so! touched. shes real sweet and that made my day too!

i was greeting mr ng and he suddenly went like hi huay shan. i was kinda surprised and i said goodmorning again and he asked if i was ok. i was like yeaaa and he asked are u sure? and i was really surprised but touched. i dunno how to say it, when someone asks u if ure ok,they may just be doing it to be polite. but when someone persists and says are u sure? i feel like they really care. and i really am glad mr ng wasted 2 mins saying that to me. im real honoured.

when i came back to oldham i found a letter on my table from waileng! chilli took it up for me and i was so! happy and it had four notes and a card, thank you very much waileng, leave a tag if u see this ok? just click on "the talkings". im glad money finally opened his eyes. haha i think he's into cheryl already :) tell her i said hi and letters on the way soonnn!!

i dunno what else to say.. i was feeling like shit and i was asking myself like, what have i got? and i was so happy cause i do have sth. my marks are pretty passable so far, and there are so many kind souls out there who actually bother abt me. im real touched:) and i have friends too:) yesyes and ive been letting out air the whole day so i shall go answer nature's call now. byebye:)

shann

another day

2005-02-01T18:53:00.000+08:00

just got back from the asean meeting, it was quite alright it was great seeing everyone. but everyone looked like super stressed out. why is it that i cant talk to it? is it just that it wants to avoid me? im really blur. jeremy said he couldnt get anyone to buy the tickets and infact none of the pple i asked were succesful! this is beginning to look really bad. but when i went for dinner jonas seemed hopeful that he might actually be able to get ppl to buy. HAH all other oldham ij girls can move aside cause all the jc scholars are getting them from ME.

lots of hw. ouchhhhhh

tired ired and disappointed with it. : ( i do seem to be getting rather depressing nowadays. hehe but better la i suppose. :) owell owell.
shhhaan.

worried

2005-01-31T19:30:00.000+08:00

first things first, i wanna say this,
I GOT MY NEW PINAFORE!!!

finally i wont need to worry walking around school. this pinafore is not too long not too short JUST RIGHT SO I WONT GET CAUGHT AND I WONT LOOK LIKE IM DROWNING. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. got a whole load off my chest. ok next.. today was pretty boring, but i got real decent marks for lit so that brightened my day. and somehow getting the commendation from my dear maggie means extra too me cause ive been admiring her since sec 1.

CORRINE HO.
she's really unique. pple out there who think she's one hell of a selfish, dead gal are so wrong! when u get to know her u find that she's one of those rare friends that u strive to find for so long! i had her all the while and never realized-STUPID! the more i talk to her the more i admire her and want to be her friend. she's really sensitive and mature in the inside and she has this thing abt her that makes u feel like ull do anything for her! friend-0-meter: 7/10.
haha im not that super attached to her yet but im proud to be one of the closest to her. :) so lucky i am yes?

Marianne
as always ure my bestsest partner and slowly becoming one of my bestest pals too dun u think?
thanks for everything.

had malay today and siti didnt turn up! tsktsk. will scold her tmr.

tmr theres an asean meeting in oldham! ahh good. no need to run around singapore looking for the meeting place. i havent seen everyone for so long! ahh. and i can ask them how the ticket selling went, cause i begged some to help me sell the tix. i wanna try to raise a 1000 on my own. i think i can, with scholars, my 9 aunts and uncles colleagues, my parents, my brother's campus mates, my own consumption,yesyes a very good salesperson i am huh. :) ill find a way oyeaaa!!

i really am beggining to hate my cca. never have i felt so much discontempt man.

i dun care bout her anymore. i think shes getting the hurt she imposed on met thru other means. so i shall shut up now.

i dunno what else to say.. i think im much ahppier nowadays. why? errmmm cause i dunno i guess im numb to everything. i wish i could feel happy, and that everything would go right for once!ok i shall disappear now. byebye

shan.

2005-01-30T13:03:00.000+08:00

helloes!

it was a really great day yesterday!

penisa
thanks for everything you did yesterday when i was pissed off. i'm really sorry that i may have been a bitch yesterday when i blew my top. thanks again and sorry for calling you penisa in front of some people from your fav school xP anyway, band concert was great except for sth that happened right? but other than that, i thoroughly enjoyed myself with you, ah huay, yvonne, charmaine tay, cher, kailing and grace etc etc. thanks and c ya tomorrow! btw you still owe me money :)

ah huay
hey my bestest partner! it's alright that you were late. really. sorry didn't really talk to you during the deco but fantasia was a blast with you and penisa and all the others! really wanna thank you cos i thoroughly enjoyed myself and the pics we took were great! thanks for not popping out at that time ya? you're a clever girl! haha. okie c ya tml! :)

marianne :)

2005-01-28T19:56:00.000+08:00

hello

huay shan, don't worry about her. just ignore her. i guess it's just in her personality as i told you. don't worry ya? if you need anyone to talk to, i'm always here. i think just forget about the issue ya? afterall, none of us are perfect and we all should just accept each others flaws. ok. sorry if i brought it up.

anyway, it's been a busy week and ya, it's gonna get worst until cny. until then, i feel stressed but yet again, i look forward to the holiday and the op sale :) haha. although i'm not going, i feel excited. i really hope that they have my shorts! oh man, this is exciting. haha. i'm officially kinda broke though. lotsa pple owe me money. shall go hunt them down. yeah. then i'll have some money. yup. alright. gtg now. ciao alls :)

marianne :)

another day

2005-01-28T17:29:00.000+08:00

its the weekend! i cant believe how relieved i feel. today was much better than ytd. the math test was surprisingly bearable and im almost sure my answers are all right. okok maybe i shouldnt say too much, may get lousy marks. halfway thru the test mr tan suddenly popped up and put a carrier on my drawer and i was so! surprised. i could only mutter a thanks! and i had difficulty concentrating for a few mins after that. the gift was really sweet and im super touched. honestly i cherish the messy post it more than the gift itself, but ive never had a teacher like this before man! ahh.. but he spelled my name wrongly it was like huay shang. haha but nvm im still really touched. and i jus didnt know how to say thank you too! well it really made my day i guess cause somehow it seems like he understands whats going on. sounds weird haha. but its true really. :)

shes STILL doing it, even marianne noticed right marianne? ahhhhh. then after tournament, (yes i went for tournament) she was so ugh bitchy and she kept asking abt the game so irritating! gahgahgah.

petrina's really nice :) really its ok bout today it was nice to talk to her.

im hungry and looking forward to tmr. im going to study like mad tonight and play tmr. first its the mass practice which is gonna be real fun, then its class deco, equally fun cause charmaine and bernie are damn funny! and then its op warehouse sale with marianne chang then ill come back for hostel orientation and then its band concert! ah. nice. then sunday ill go my aunts house to pig out and alter my uniform. ahh...

okok ill disappear here. poof!
shannn.

: (

2005-01-27T15:30:00.000+08:00

its still here my shitty feelings. i really hate the way i behave sometimes. i get oversensitive and pissed off at ppl for trivial issues. if marianne sees this im sorry im pms-ish these few days. penisa is so extremely nice to me thanks very much.

im still so irritated at her. i feel like she's rubbing it in that she has what i dont have and that she's constantly trying to put me down and prove that she's better than me. im glad she got what she got today in a way and its all true, so i hope she gets what she deserves. i know im getting so petty and mean but im really all burnt out nowadays and i dunno how to control my feelings anymore. i love her though sometimes but im really confused and pissed now.

i felt like crying during lessons today, i felt so tensed up. the amath thing was already pressurising me and i was panicking when i saw everyone practicing. then physics, i havent even completed the tys qustions for the previous chapter and mrs tang is already bombarding me with another yet more confusing chapter. i couldn't understand at all, and i was so tired my head was aching, ppl around were pissing me off and so much was bugging me i jus wished! i could be happy and carefree for just one day! im jealous of those who are happy im so jealous! chem.. i havent mastered the QA chapter and we've just finished electrolysis! i feel so! stuffed and stifled and squashed and mashed and tmr's tournament and i cant stand the way they keep keep keep keep KEEP rubbing it in infront of me cant they be more sensitive i feel like slappppping her face with my shoe! oGod. im really tensed now. im so sleepy and i have to practice math. and my roomie's really geting to me too, she keeps talking to me as if she thinks she's a notch better than me, GOD! arrogant ughh!

ok i guess i should cool. waileng im so so so so sorry i haevnt been replying ure emails,i just dun feel like going online so often now. i promise ill reply a long one when i do which will eb soon. why dun u snail mail me?

everythings going wrong, and ive got such a lousy attitude towards it which makes me feel lousier. im lousy lousy lousy. LOUSY!

hshan

blah

2005-01-24T18:07:00.000+08:00

im feeling just as blah-hy today. i stayed up till like 1 talking to chilli and listening to her phone songs. ahh nice roomie i have. but i woke up so flustered and grumpy, my hair was in a mess, i had to wear rachel's blouse gahh! very irritating. and monday blues.. i felt like shit in school. wanted very much to bang a few people's heads against the wall.

i cant believe i havent gotten over it yet, its been two years already.why do i feel so sore towards the msn nick? i guess partly its impossible to completely throw the memory away.

like i said im feeling like shit now. really like whats there to be happy bout? my studies are bleah, my cca is currently in the drain, im the lousiest chairperson in the world omg! and my friends are being weird. im just thankful i have p mw mc and c to count on. i dunno why but today i just fell in love with marianne chang i just felt like she's been such a great friend to me despite my frequent pmsing around her. thanks radio.. ahhhh im tired and sick of being like this. so pessimistic of me! but its tough i think, i mean, my hormones arent like fully developed yet, so small things really affect me. feels empty and bleah. depressing. omg im depressing myself. ok nvm ill go.. eat chips now. and wait for chilli to come back and fix the blinds that she spoilt this morn. byebye

huay.shan

: )

2005-01-23T17:53:00.000+08:00

wow its all fixed! thanks partner. anyway im feeling like shit now cause ive been slacking all day and i dunno i guess being with my bro for one day can really stress me out. friday was a great day thanks to corrine:) she's very diff from what shes like when she's in school. she was great fun and great company on friday and i haha reallyreally had a good time.

i feel like im not putting in my all in the stuff i do. i have a feeling i can do better if i try but im too lazy to try! im afraid it ll be too late by the time i wake up and put in my best. i also feel out sometimes i wonder why it behaves so oddly towards me, what have i done man!! and i feel like im not fulfilling my responsibilities and i know i cant be heading all the time but shouldnt i at least take part in it? and it doesnt even bother abt me and even lies to me! i mean.. singtel isnt that lousy, my phone records all the sent messages. ahh lets hope self awareness camp will put this all right.

and then theres the other one that i thought was wonderful but i cant help feeling you re getting more and more arrogant towards me! and that ure trying to be one notch ahead of me all the time. but usually ure so nice to me im confused see!

bleah i finished my commonwealth essay today and im hoping ms teo will approve of it. blah i think im feeling blah-hy today. its almost dinner!! ah and chilli and i shall go down soon. ok just a few last let-outs.

its confusing me its confusing me i wonder if it is thinking what im thinking but bleah. ill see it soon and lets hope things go better.

hi waileng! :) say hi to cherry for me.ask her hows money.

ok i guess this is a rubbishy post. well nobodys reading it anyway HAHA. good thing abt this. byebye

huayshan

2005-01-23T13:50:00.000+08:00

helloes

the blog is finally fixed! yes. i'm really sorry that it took sucha long time. been really busy and i will be even busier with all the house stuff that is coming up. not to mention cny mass, invest and not forgetting, my studies. sigh. was my decision wrong? i really hope not. i don't wanna regret it now but i can't help but do just that. everything seems fine from the day i made my decision up to now. now, i guess the real challenge begins as i undertake my duties and do sports day. boy i can't wait for it to be over. then i can wash my hands off house matters and concentrate really really hard on my studies. i hope all will go well. sigh. i'm gonna need this place even more to vent my frustrations. oh wells. hope u guys like the skin and don't mind my complaining! ciao alls! :)

ah wong:)

hi wai leng : )

2005-01-16T16:15:00.000+08:00

ahha hi waileng this is me. hehe. anyway today was the signature hunt yes, marianne ans it was! unexpectedly.. dirrty. i really really never thought ild get that wet so i didnt bring extra undergarments. when it first started it was alright, i just got a bunch of toothpaste on my cheeks and legs. but as it went on two meanies just came up to me and dumped water and sand on my back continuosly! i was like wth! turns out it was my junior and batchmate's birthday gift for me. how sweet. haha and i was like ok nvm this can be cleaned and i whipped out my towel and started wiping up and then more people come and ahhhh throw water on me. but one gal made a mistake and threw a whole bag of water on kampoo instead of me thats quite funny haha the girl was so horrified. well it was just all sand and water and toothpaste and i was happily sitting by hsiwen drying off when dear dear joshie and alex threw me into the sea. i was horrifed at first(no undergarments!!) but in the end i thought it was quite funny. but i ended up reallly gross cause pple threw sand around and salt water + sand aint a very good combination. haha. and it was nice seeing everyone- wenny, wai kin, siang ee, vattey :) yupyup today was decent. and thanks jessica for being such good company :) she's a wonderful friend. oyea and ild like to mention that ecp toilets suck! i queued for so freaking long! and all the while i had like sand and toothpaste all over in my undies and all that. and my hair oh my hair... everyone was being really mean telling em how gross my hair looked every five mins. haha but all the same im clean now and haha gerard was like. omg huayshan ure so clean! haha. okok im guilty now too cause i havent worked at all.

and i dunno ill be straight here, im feeling a little empty now cause i think what i thought i had i actually hadnt all this while. and i feel disappointed and sad. i know its all for the best that i dun have it but i cant help wishing i had it. chilli has it and im glad for her but sometimes i feel so.. weird. i cant get it but well im hoping somehow things should work out. J

huay.shan

2005-01-15T14:44:00.000+08:00

helloes!

sorry i haven't been updating. been busy busy yea? especially with so many things going on yea? oh wells huay shan, i got so much to tell you but i'll save it for monday ok? yeaps. enjoy ur signing thing k? must tell me what u did alrighty? oh yes and penisa, thank you so much for ytd. i must must tell you sth but i'll call ya later ya? and yes, enjoy ur tiger cup k? must tell me how come they became so good. (find out if they take steroids) heh heh :)

take care all! :)

ah wong:)

finally!

2005-01-13T22:21:00.000+08:00

this thing takes so long to load! and i typed an entry sometime ago and it said some error or sth. okok anyway its been so long! and so many things have happened. well firstly i ve never felt such a load off my shoulder after the physics test today. i just pray that i wont fail or if i do mrs tang wouldnt ask for a letter.i really hate that kinda thing. and i think ild rather not talk bout badminton. hmm and this sunday's signature hunt! how fun hehehe im already planning all the things to do to the juniors. i feel so old sec 4 man! hehehe. and i got new specs too! when i first saw it in the shop i fell in love with it and now i think its really nice. i dun wanna wear contact lenses anymore. haha hmm and i guess ive been a reallly good girl lately cause ive been completing my hw waaay before schedule. its all thanks to marianne cause seeing her finish her hw makes me wanna finish mine too : ) proud of me? but of course things like chem physics.. tys very hard to finish so ive got a few holes here and there. oyea and today i was asking mr tan a question abt differenciation and he was liek shouting brabrabra and i was still confused but i got it in the end but i was so freaked out he sounded really furious i dunwannaaskanymore. really im terrified.

i like my chilli she's my roomie and she's very easy to get along with!! and i still love friska very much she's very nice she feeds me when im hungry. ah. now im feeling particularly happy cause.. ive done most of my work? and tmr theres two tests but i dun really care anyway-physics is OVER! if i can get this worked up over a test what abt o levels man! oh and i had a nice talk with corrine yesterday and she's so nice! really despite her being so dead in school. i wanna get to the jc i want! but its so so so so tough! but im gonna do it! at least ill try. ahhhh but i really wonder if i can make it. can i can i?? ahha i should stop complaining and start studying huh. okok i guess ill end off here nth really much heh.
.:huay shan:.

2005-01-09T14:51:00.000+08:00

hello

decided to update once more though i doubt anyone is gonna see this, what more read it. oh wells. i would just like to tell my dearest partner to be happy. ah huay, if u're reading this, please cheer up ok? i dun wanna see u this unhappy tml ya? u must tell me all abt ur new specs and everything. really. and of course i can tell u abt fri and everything ya? oh wells, just cheer up plenty plenty. i dunno where u got all these crazy ideas but rest assured, they are all not true yeah? sigh. i'm having problems with my messenger and it's really really frustrated. i wish i could kick the wall now. ugh! oh wells, i'm dreading the coming week cos of the plenty of tests we have lined up for us. at least there's something to look forward to on friday. sec one orientation! yay! i'm gonna make sure that i torture them good cos this is my last year ya? heh heh :) anyway, i hope legion can recruit more members. sigh. stupid monkey made this happen lah! roar. oh wells, shall save my complaints for another time. right now, i gotta go download another messenger and see if it helps. sigh. it's gonna waste so much of my time. oh wells, shall study in the meantime. ok. ciao all and see ya tml! :)

ah wong :)

: )

2005-01-08T21:45:00.000+08:00

ok its been a really long weekend so far. its sat and i havent begun doing any work ive just like finished my homework except chem but theres so much studying to do; physics and ss and i have to read up on chem cause i really dun understand anything at all! ive been sleeping the whole day, woke up at ten went out to get the asean shirts then i came back and slept all the way till 7. im a pig yea yea i know. lets just hope i can stay up tonight to finish all that im supposed to! ahh. and i scratched my phone!! i totally screwed the screen i left it in a pouch and made the huge mistake of leaving some coins in the pouch so theres a horrid scratch across my screen. i was horrified then and i still havent gotten over it. i feel li

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MR H. (:

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